Hey there @Doldip15 🌺🙂💜
thank you for sharing your story, showing how in deep loss, pain and trauma you seek again and again for the good things, the good reasons, and the good motivations to keep going 🌺🙂
your words touched me and I could feel a semblance to your story because I also lost a partner to illness, while distantly surrounded by his family and friends hovering, waiting in the wings, letting me manage his life, his business, and his finances alone, only to snatch what they could after his passing, while accusing me of not doing enough..one even accused me of worse, when I was contacted by authorities and questioned as to what kind of care I provided, and what was his reason of passing 😔💔 ..for clarity, I was completely exonerated, backed up by the ambo staff and doctors 🌺
I also understand how other people tend to give advice that may have been useful for their coping strategies in terms of what to do with life and a future partner/s, and that in their sharing, there’s little space for how you actually feel, and what you actually want. I also knew I didn’t want to get close to anyone again..but nobody heard that - it was a busy time for them while preferring to tell me what to do instead 🌺
The one thing I have to remember him is a decorative bowl we bought on holiday once. Everything else was taken. Everything. I just didn’t have the energy to fight it at the time.
So, I guess I can understand what it’s like to be so alienated by circumstance, and how isolating and lonely that can end up being🌺💜
Here, you’re not alone, and there’s always someone with something to connect to, and hold space for you 🙂💜
keep looking and listening for that sweet birdsong out your window, and store those little moments of beauty in your heart ☺️💜🌺🤗
