Lived Experience Forum

[outlander]

Thank you @CheerBear @Sans911 @Snowie @Appleblossom 💕
Ive done some research nd have info to go off. Im sure it will be ok even if it doesnt feel that way atm.

[CheerBear]

Eventually it might be OK @outlander, and it might help as far as being able to manage symptoms. But right now it seems like it feels big and hard and that's understandable 🙁❤

[outlander]

Thank you @CheerBear ❣
Ive only spoke about it here, i dont think i could talk to anyone offline yet. The gynae doesnt communicate with my gp or nurse so they dont even know yet. I walked past one of those little pop up shops for a pre-school enrolment sort of thing, it never affected me before. It stung a little today. It feels silly to have it affect me this way.

[CheerBear]

I don't think that's silly @outlander, though I get how it can feel silly. That stuff can sting and can hit us out of the blue in ways we don't expect.

I remember being told that creating humans was going to be difficult/not possible given what my insides were doing. I was a little younger than you and not close to being ready to have babies. It smashed me. I felt so weird, like I'd lost something that I didn't know I even had. I really believed that it wouldn't happen for me (which led to some pretty reckless behaviour that proved that wrong). It took lots of processing.

Sitting with you ❤

[Sans911]

Not silly at all hun @outlander. It's the sting of dreams dashed. And that hurts a lot. Sitting with you in this hurt. 💕💕💕

[Faith-and-Hope]

💜🌷 @outlander .... 💋

[outlander]

@CheerBear yeah thats kind of how it feels. Its weird, like there was something there but its not now but yet nothing has actually changed (ie nothing been removed etc). I didn't really think about it before, i didn't really need to i suppose. Having/not having kids just seemed like a normal thing without giving it to much thought- if you had kids you had them, if you dont then you dont and thats ok either way. He asked me when i first noticed symptoms and i was about 15 but i didn't really notice it much till about 3 yrs ago when it started getting much worse where i can barely walk due to pain and skipping 2 or 3 even 6 months at a time. It wouldve been really hard being even younger then i am to have to hear it. I get how it wouldve smashed you, its happening here too. And then to have it proved wrong im sure wouldve brought up alot, a lot of processing and many questions too. I wouldnt have been even close to ready to have kids right now either. Its just i dont really know. Weird. Confusing..

The out of the blue stings are hard and unexpected. I wasnt expecting to just walk past that little stall with such a surge of emotions to go with it. Its like a dreams been taken that i didn't know was a dream @Sans911

I hope that one of these treatments will at least manage the symptoms, itll help not to have to have them so much or so full on.


Thank you for listening and sitting with me 💜🦄

[outlander]

Its like it all makes sense but its also so confusing too. I just feel like im loosing 'Normal' even more now. 

[outlander]

@Faith-and-Hope 💌💌

[CheerBear]

So many hugs for you @outlander. You've described what it is like so well. That something that was there but now isn't though nothing has really changed. It's confusing and confronting. It's a loss that's difficult to identify let alone make sense of. Perhaps there's also that sense that your body is letting you down which is so hard (I know there was for me). Your body hasn't made life easy for you in so many ways and this might be another thing added 🙁 Lots going on and lots to sit with and work through.

Oodles of love outlander. Keep talking if it helps ❤