@PeppyPatti I realised after I posted about going to church how petty and mean I am to think of doing such a thing. Sometimes I open my mouth to change feet. Church should be about God and fellowship, not making someone else miserable.
Does it get easier? Looking back at occasions in my past where I felt paralysed with pain and thought it would never stop hurting, it does get better.
This latest situation is different though, I pretty much gave up everything, my house, my finances, my friends and family for a person who I didn't realise at the time was doing what controlling partners do - isolating me from everyone but her and her kids. I couldn't go see family or friends without her sending a dozen texts.
Fast forward nearly 10 years later and I come back to my house needing thousands of dollars worth of maintenance because the person living in it did nothing and told me nothing when something got damaged or needed repair. I have lost most of my friends and am no longer close to my family and I no longer have a best friend or God children. It's been just over a year since she cut me out of her life and as you can tell by my petty comment about going to her church I am still struggling. Will I ever recover? I believe so. Will it take longer than any other time I was screwed over and treated cruelly? Yes.
There will be days that cripple me with pain, there will be days when I don't think about her.
Just know that you are in control and you can choose to heal or stay in pain. By the same token, don't buy in to the "it's been xxx amount of time you should be over it by now" chain of thought either.
If you have to talk about it, do so. No matter how many times you may repeat yourself.
Be kind to yourself.
And give yourself a pat on the back. You got this far, you can do it
❤️ 🫂 🤗
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