My Mosaic

[Bow]

Thanks @Ru-bee  not real sure what I’ll do with them though 🤷🏼‍♀️

my SW didn’t come into the office until late and I was sitting there wondering whether I should text her and ask if she was going to be coming into the office cause I’d appreciate a chat….. but I didn’t. If I had it sent a text and she was coming into the office and knew I needed to chat I’m sure she would have made time. Oh well. 

she usually meets me at comm mh before my psych appointment tomorrow… perhaps I could ask if we could meet a little earlier?  
I see my psychologist for the first time in like 6 or so weeks. I’m anxious about it 

[Ru-bee]

Yeah meeting before sounds like a good idea @Bow 

Are you seeing your psychologist tomorrow? It's understandable to feel anxious after such a gap. Are there any things that you're feeling particularly anxious about? If it helps to talk it out a bit I'm here to listen

[Bow]

Yeah I’m seeing my psychologist tomorrow morning @Ru-bee 

So many reasons why I am anxious about it. I’ve never really been able to gel with my psych. She won’t let me bring things that I have written for her to read, so a lot just goes unsaid. Before she went on leave she asked what I might need in her absence and I said just some extra contact from the team, like phone calls and we talked at length about it. Never happened. So I’m annoyed with her about that. She goes on maternity leave in about 6 weeks? So it’s kinda hard to feel able to put everything aside and do any real work in that time. And there has just been a lot going on while she has been away and can I even share any of that??? Plus where my head is really at at the moment?  

[Ru-bee]

Oh sorry you did already very clearly say it's tomorrow. Those are a lot of very valid reasons @Bow I'm hoping that if tomorrow isn't doesn't allow to you talk in depth about what's been happening for you, then at least it might be an opportunity to provide some feedback about her absence and lack of follow through?

Do you think that seeing you SW before this appointment will be able to provide a bit of comfort, as well as a chance to talk through some things?

[Bow]

I don’t know @Ru-bee  not very good with providing her with feedback. I’ve done it once and it was turned back onto me. Excuses. 

hopefully seeing my SW and chatting with her about stuff before hand will help. But I don’t know. 

it just feels inevitable. Not if but when

[Ru-bee]

Yeah if you've had that negative experience in the past it would make it harder to speak up again, which is just really disappointing when we're talking about a psychologist @Bow 

What feels inevitable? 

[Bow]

Yeah when trust is already difficult, it now feels impossible @Ru-bee 

not being here

doesnt matter

sorry 

[Ru-bee]

It does matter @Bow that's a really hard thought to be having. I'm going to send you an email to check in there okay?

[Ru-bee]

Hey @Bow what's on for the rest of the evening?

[Bow]

Just finished dinner @Ru-bee  mum cooked apricot chicken and veg. Haven’t had apricot chicken in many many years. 

just some tv now I think. 

Do you have plans for once you have finished? Or just chilling?