My Mosaic

[tyme]

What people say, does that mean it's always true??? @Captain24 

What does the evidence say.

If you don't mind, I want to share something.

I was once in a situation where numerous complaints were made about me. I honestly thought it was all true. I apologised profusely and 'owned' the supposed wrong-doing. Later, in discussing the incident with a support person, I was encouraged to look for the 'evidence'. When I looked back, I actually realised that nothing that was alleged had any ground to stand on. Instead it was THEIR perception of things.

We can NEVER control people's perceptions. The key is to consider the evidence. 

This is not just for what you are going through right now, but I wonder if it is relevant to other aspects of life?

Remember, I HONESTLY, truly, with all my heart believed all those allegations and that it was MY FAULT. It turns out it wasn't.

[Captain24]

It must be though. @tyme Its the second time that I’ve been told how bad I am. Im obviously doing the wrong thing. Im the unsafe person. 

I had a similar situation at my old job. All my staff dragged me into a meeting and attacked me with all their grievances. It wasn’t a pleasant experience. But I took all that on board and blamed myself

[tyme]

I wonder if this can also be a chance for 'assertiveness' to rise up @Captain24 ?

It's in you. I've seen how passionate you are, how loyal, how trustworthy. If people have grievances against you, rather than turning it inwards, I wonder if there's any opportunities there?

At the moment, I've got 2 'sets' of grievances to deal with. Hopefully one will get sorted next week, but I'm not looking forward to it. Yet I want it sorted. (btw, it's nothing to do with SANE or anything). There were so many allegations held against me which I could have turned and directed them at myself - but instead, I want to talk this out with the people. IF I have done wrong, I will own it. However, if I haven't, then I can't own it.

That's where I am at the moment.

I sounds like these situations are part of life?

Hugs

[Captain24]

Im scared that if I try to be assertive that it’ll get turned back on me @tyme. 

I have a long way to go with learning any confidence. Stuff like this sets it back. 

I am proud of you for confronting it. That to me is huge. Plus the fact that you will own it only when you are sure. 

[tyme]

I feel like I haven't been here in decades! @Bow !

I just saw the bullet tracker! OMG! AMAZING!!!!!

I've never heard of it and yours looks truly amazing!

Seriously, you need you have your own business in creating stuff like this... maybe on the computer or something.

You should see how big my eyes have grown just seeing that journal! 

Wow wow wow.....

[tyme]

@Captain24 , being assertive doesn't mean to be loud, rude or arrogant. It's taken me a long time to learn the skill of assertiveness and collaboration. 

I don't know if I told you, but in my uni masters, there was an ENTIRE unit on working with people - including conflict resolution. I never knew there was so much science behind it!

I think I really grew from that unit in my degree. I learnt a lot.

Mainly, in that if we have established goals for ourselves, then we keep our eyes on that goal. Things (such as comments or people) may get in the way, but if our goal is to find emotional support on the forums, learn from others, share experiences, learn from other experiences etc, then whatever we do, our lens should be this goal.

Note, I'm not targeting or taking any specifics, but for example: If someone is using the forums to learn from others' experiences, then everything that happens on the forums will be geared towards that. In other words, how are you going to learn from the experience?

I wonder if taking this stance will help some of what you are struggling with?

Unfortunately, the most caring, kind, compassionate people can also be hurt easily. This was what I found happened to me. I cried at the drop of a hat. If someone looked and me OR didn't look at me, i'd take it as an offence... thank god things are now a better lol.

ANyway, I'm wrapping up. Still have a lot to do 🙂 Catch you tomorrow!

[Captain24]

Thanks @tyme. Sorry about the email

[tyme]

Hugs. I seriously only JUST saw the email 🙂 @Captain24 

That's so not you talking 🙂

[Bow]

I’d love to some how produce a bullet journal to sell @tyme  but I’d really have no idea where to start! And it would take a lot of work! And making it so it’s totally personalisable 

maybe something I could look into. I know you can order and print direct through Amazon. 

but thank you! 

[Bow]

@tyme  Market went well on Saturday. It was the big country one. But it was very muddy. Stall holders and some shoppers park in a field behind the school. They had to close that off cause people were getting bogged. But they closed it after I had already parked! So was so scared I’d have my new car bogged when I went to get it to load back up. Thankfully it was ok! 

out sold mum again by heaps. 

and she had booked for another market on Sunday. Only told me yesterday afternoon!! It will be her last one before she goes to tassie for a couple of weeks though. So I need to get in and replace some stock.