..gosh, what do I say ? these days seems almost insurmountable just getting centrelink approval to be Allowed to study.. used to be oh i am studying, put it on form. now there is no form and outside of income all 'mutual obligation' carrot and stick game seems to be run by job network.
so , I am studying and have been for over a month and still not sure if I am 'allowed' to .. had to change DES providers yet again as last lot just too smart for me, kept telling me porkies, anything , never mind whatever 'rules' there are so long as I had to keep going to them and applying for jobs etc ,,all about their $ nothing to do with course I was doing in right area, right length of time, right mode of study, after months of going around in circles was told by one of many people from dift places that it all was 'at DES's discretion' so , went to new place , seemed sane, rational, caring almost, agreed to put everything in 'agreement' and where going to pretty much leave me alone, so long as proved was going there, and showed my face occasionally with them, the got form out of the blue from centrelink saying they had to approve my study now,this is after getting told oh nothing to do with us. so went back there after ringing DES first to get same 'nothing to do with us' spiel, I said look at form you sent me. oh , never seen that form before (why would you have, you yokel..) anyway see wat happens.
all that aside..if you are on the pension then no mutual obligation isssues . im not on pension. ok I finished degree 2001. did alright etc , GPA around distinction including honours. so, 2002 , enrol in teaching, ok after not getting close to any sort of paid employment remotely related to degree. had self esteem issues, also chronic nose bleeds at the time that hadnt been successfully treated. so, i went and signed up , went to a couple info sessions and never went back after imagining my self 2 weeks hence at some posh suburb school in bomby car wearing kmart clothes with blood running from nose .. yeah ... nah ... then I enrolled again the year after and never went once. then year or 2 after enrolled in MBA (pointless) and was disgusted at the low level of course (below first year) and mindlessness of accounting(made zero sense to me, was just staring at numbers on a page literally and thats from me who enjoyed Maths.) so , yeah , friend was pushing me to keep trying further study like it was the only option (think they were getting same from their wife) ..so it 'wasnt me' was pointless waste of time in the end re further study.
However .. a few years back , I finally bit the bullet and enrolled in Cert IV in training and assessing. ie thought can use trade and give body a rest . that went nowhere as needed to have my own class in my pocket. got suckered along by tutor to do all I could without a class, and it was intense, but def not academic. usual Tafe chip on shoulder about degrees stuff. ok fast forward few years and am like 3 fortnightly sessions in to 10 month course doing updated version of same qualification. I keep waiting for brain to clear, indecision to go away, worry to go away (spent weeks trying to pick units to concentrate on) spent weeks worrying about timing and how and when to get there , re 2.5 hour drive to city on the morning of class. still not worked any of these things out and well, by next session it might not matter. getting buried under homework, now got first presentation coming up at next session. and I cant feel my old 'feel the fear and do it anyway' mode in the slightest ok bits of posittivity in class and at home. then worrry, worry , worry . Geez. got like 17 sessions left , there are only 3 presentations. the place doing course at is uber connected. There are people who have gone from course straight to semi-govt office job not classes, no f2f no nothing lol sounds dreamy
I think maybe Life has a bit more in store for me yet re challenges, but getting through this course will be a huge sigh of relief ... lol
sorry for going on @Oaktree @PinkFlamingo @ENKELI @tyme @Birdofparadise8 @Glisten @tonys @SmilingGecko @Historylover @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @MDT in case this topic (ok thread topic, not my rant) is of interest re study, going back to study etc
Emergency, police & ambulance (24 Hrs)
Connect with a lifeline crisis supporter (24 Hrs)
Suicide callback service (24 Hrs)
Kids helpline (24 Hrs)
13 YARN