Living with Loneliness

[JPEG1998]

Hey @Salvia ,

You are most welcome! I am glad that I have people firstly, listening, and secondly, sharing their struggles! Remember - you are NOT alone! Feel free to use any of the strategies that I use as well. I am not sure of your age, but if you are under the age of 25 you can use Kids Helpline - they have been a brilliant service for me. Alternatively, regardless of your age, you can also use Lifeline. They too have been great for me. Yes, I love to catch public transport, because it gives me the opportunity to surround myself with other people. There are other ways that I like to keep myself company when I am feeling alone - I like to connect with those of the same cultural background as myself (I am Aboriginal), as this makes me feel safe and culturally aware. Visiting a coffee shop is great! Do you have a friend or family member that you could go with in the future, so you don't feel as alone? 

I know what it is like to stay in a psychiatric ward all too well as I have stayed in three different ones four times since the age of 17. They can certainly be scary experiences, because you don't know what kind of people you are mingling with. And I definitely know the experience of being a social outcast; I've been once since Year 7.

[David76]

I discovered loneliness when mum got bladder cancer. Friends, neighbours and even family have distanced themselves from mum and I. It's a bit like that Robin Williams saying that the only thing worse than feeling lonely is being in the company of people who make you feel alone. That's what it's like when people no longer connect with you on a meaningful level.

[Melbcoffeesnob]

Howdy,

Oh boy, do I hear you loud and clear @David5 I was attracted to your comment and others' commenting because I feel alone most of the time. It's not a good feeling but it becomes easier over time. I had close relatives pass away when I was in my early 20s and know exactly how you feel with family members avoiding you - maybe they mean well but it's because they don't know what to say. Either way, it's a them issue - nothing to do with you. 

@JPEG1998 and @David5  congratulate yourself for putting one foot ahead of the other and taking those small steps, I hope that you will feel better by knowing that on this forum you are not alone.  

Talk to us.  Tell us more about our story.  There are many many people on here that know exactly how you feel, people of all ages. Loneliness affects everybody. 

How long you have been feeling like this, do you have anyone close that gives you support?

Always here to listen.

Melbcoffeesnob

[Marytreefrog]

Loneliness can be felt through isolation and inability to connect with others who feel us and understand were we are coming from. We can have many people around us but if you don’t have a connection and sense they understand and visa versa it is hard to find meaning other than family or others you socialise with. Unfortunately in my situation I technically  I have family but I have always felt lonely as they refused not only to understand my mental health but they never accepted me for the person I am unless I took on their values and beliefs. I had to estrange myself for the sake of my mental health but my level of loneliness has not changed as when I was around them I was not valued or did I feel love or care from them. Christmas and other family based occasions because I do not have any one to spend them with however it is healthier to not be around them as their words and behaviour hurt more. It’s not easy making close friends and gets harder with age.I used to feel when I met people that I must explain why I don’t work full time and am in and out of hospital but that tended to ostracise me more now I try to get to know how to get in first asking questions of person I meet as most people love talking about themselves and I find I don’t have to explain things as much. My problem though either through fear or something else is getting to know people after first meeting as I loose confidence and often living on DSP makes it hard to attend social events. Since living in social housing I notice their are so many lonely people but it seems there are some social activities but due to disability and no longer being able to afford running a car I am further isolated. I want to meet people with similar untreatable but my ability to access events is limited. I am on NDIS and they have slashed my funding making it impossible to do anything apart from go to Drs appointments and shopping. You would think being on it for psychosocial reasons they would need more than 2.5 hours 5 times a week as I currently have no informal supports and can’t catch public transport. Their answer is to use the mobility allowance to catch taxies however it would only cover one appointment a fortnight and I have at least 8 a week. It is hard not having even one person you can rely on when needed but I am not giving up fighting as I am at tribunal fighting for the support I need from NDIS to live the best life I can 

[tyme]

Hey there @Marytreefrog ,

I'm sorry to hear this is happening. It sounds like just because you are on the NDIS, then your life can be further challenged with slashed funds.

You deserve to be heard. You deserve to feel a sense of connection and belonging. We are glad you have found us. 

We hear you. We are sitting with you.

In my darkest days with my mental health, the forums got me through. Because of the stigma of mental health, I was not permitted to speak about it in the real world. I was alone and isolated in my journey. These forums gave me a sense of purpose. 

You are not alone.

Hugs @Marytreefrog 

[Messylife]

Loneliness feels like I need more stimulation of my passions and to feel better matched connections to what interests me
I feel lonely a lot. It's like nobody knows me.

It is problematic in that I need to bottle up my life happenings and takes away the joy from good things. 

I feel like no one has time for me and that it is my mistake as my feeling of mismatched belonging has led to me isolating myself socially. It is a vicious circle. 

I also have this problem with people, especially men, taking advantage of me online because when we open up ourselves to sharing we get mistaken for wanting intimacy and sex. It would be great if we could talk about our passions and desires and interests without getting hit on. 

[Glisten]

@Messylife do you get hit on everywhere you go? Is it all men?

[Messylife]

A few women too. It is hard to find a good active forum and Sane is very slow.
I currently use a game site but I'm realising that games are just the hook

[tyme]

Yeah @Messylife . Games are the hook. And moving from a gaming site to SANE, I can see why SANE would be considered slow.

I guess these forums are not designed to be a real life 1:1 chat service, and I think that's the difference. So it's about you posting something and after a while, someone gets back to you. 

Who know? We may have something more instant in the future 🙂

Happy gaming!

[Glisten]

@Messylife  ahhh hook up chat for gamers.

@tyme did SANE do a forum post requesting participant input the forum?