My Mosaic

[Jynx]

@Bow Mm I imagine it might be a tough session, if you're sitting in that space of not knowing how honest to be with your psych. But it could also end up being a super helpful session.

Your narrative creates your reality hun. If you believe things won't get better, then they won't... and sometimes we can even end up self-sabotaging without realising to keep our world in line with our narrative. We are both author and protagonist, and to me, that can be incredibly empowering. 

I can answer your question honestly (which is that there is ALWAYS hope) but it won't be as powerful as you telling yourself that. You can even give it a go, right now, just gently say out loud to yourself, "I still have hope." It might feel uncomfortable, and your brain might immediately shut it down or protest it... but there's power in words, and even more power in words we say and hear from ourselves.

[Bow]

I’m scared I’m losing the battle

depression is a war

this constant relentless fight against yourself

every thought is a bullet

every movement is a punch

your constantly in pain from all the blows

but you keep fighting on

Depression is a murder

it killed that girl you once were

when I look in the mirror the reflection is unknown 

depression is a nightmare 

you wake  each morning to your hell

The one your afraid of living in. 
Depression is an ocean

your drowning and there is no one to save you

just keep swimming but your taking in more and more water.

depression is a bottomless pit

of never ending pain

or never ending torment and torture.

it really is never ending. 
there is no escape

there is no light

depression is a beast

its gnarly teeth hissing at you

its loud growl that won’t quieten down

depression is too much

too overwhelming 

captured by its strong grip

it won’t let me go

[Jynx]

@Bow 🥺

Aww hun, sending you some huggles. And also highlighting your incredible writing talent. This hits hard. 

I can hear how steep the spiral is feeling, and I'm pretty worried. I'll flick you an email hun.

[Bow]

You still around @Jynx ?

[Jynx]

Ya I'm here @Bow 😊

[Bow]

Ok

thanks

just needing someone close by

have taken my meds though

[Jynx]

Here with you hun! Sleepy time rapidly approaching then? 

What did you end up watching on tv tonight, anything good @Bow? 

[Bow]

Yeah rapidly approaching @Jynx

I watched home and away and neighbors. And then I’m watching the summit. Just crawled into bed to finish watching it. 
was sitting on the couch huddles in a ball rocking back and forth, now in bed curled up in a ball doing the same. Feeling so fragile. 

[Jynx]

Oh wow those shows are still going @Bow? Hectic! I never watched em as a kid, never been into soap operas (unless they have magic or sci-fi in em lol). What's the summit? 

Aww little ball of Bow, totally legit to feel very brittle right now. Rocking is totally a stim, and can 100% help with regulation, so rock away my friend. I like a good rock now n then too 💜

[Bow]

Yeah ashamedly I still watch them both @Jynx  it’s my one hours of tv where I expect complete silence. 

the summit- 14 aussies have a certain amount of days to reach the summit of. Mountain. They carry $1M, face challenges and risk getting kicked off