@Jynx I briefly talked to the facilitator today about how sometimes I feeel very dismissed cause of the way that I present- and that I feel this way in particular about my case manager. Cause sometimes I might share a small snippet of what’s going on or how I am feeling… guess I am testing the waters, but cause I get dismissed and it doesn’t feel safe to share anymore people don’t get the full picture.
with my CM, I’ve never known when she actually works cause she works shifts and weekends, and I don’t have her mobile number so I can’t flick her a quick text to see if she’s working. So it doesn’t feel as easy for r safe to call the centre to ask for her. Or to have to explain myself to someone else. So I don’t call unless it’s an absolute emergency. So when she tells me she is cutting we her hours back to go work on the youth team 2 days a week…. And she makes the comment ‘this won’t affect you much’. It felt like she was saying it won’t affect you cause you don’t need me much, we have our pre booked fortnightly appointment and that’s it. My old CM, although towards the end she was useless, I knew when she was around, I could text and call her mobile and she was available. I don’t know if any of that makes sense. Or if I’m just rambling. But it’s how I don’t feel supported. I was discharged from hospital on Wednesday after a serious attempt, CM came to visit a prebooked on Thursday and I’ve had zero connect since. Fuck I tried to off myself and it feels like no one cares. I can’t remember the word she used, but it was a ‘little oops’. Sigh 😩
anyways.
warning, following images contain swearing.
