My Mosaic

[Snowie]

I'm glad you have your SW then @Bow and that your relationship with her is strong/trusting.

If she can tell your gp things you struggle to speak about, that must be good. At least then your gp is in the loop.

I saw a SW before I went into hospital. He is meant to be coming back out in two weeks to see me. I'm not sure what to think. I didn't feel that instant connection. It's not as if I will tell him how I'm going, especially since I don't even know him.

[Bow]

You got any plans for tomorrow @Snowie ?

[Snowie]

Have to drop S of at school then go organise a few things for his birthday for Friday @Bow.

I have a hair appointment tomorrow afternoon. Time to get rid of the greys!!

[Snowie]

Hi dear @Bow 

I know you had a few appointments today. I hope they went as well as they could.

Hopefully you could do some self care for yourself.

Sending lots of love 💗💗

[Bow]

Hi @Snowie 

yeah had a couple of appointments this morning. Gp appointment went ok. My bloods are fine. She just harassed me again about calling up and making a specialist appointment- she been asking me to do this for months. 
had a cuppa with my SW after that. We talked about…. Or more she talked/ encouraged  and I listened, about needing to increase my intake before our holiday. My dietitian mentioned the risk of refeeding syndrome, which I am aware of and I certainly don’t want it while overseas. So while i understand where my SW is coming from, it is an extremely difficult thing to do, it’s hard enough that I know that I will have to eat better while away to keep myself well and enough energy to get through the days, it’s a hard thing to wrap my head around starting prior to leaving. 

I wandered the shops for a bit in between appointments. Didn’t buy anything. 

then went to my psychologist appointment. She first asked about last week. I cancelled my appointment. I couldn’t get out of bed. She said that is really not like me and wanted to know more. I could only give brief info. It was a week ago! 
She then talked about re-imagery? And said that it would work well with my schema work. We tried to do some, I got back to one memory and then got drawn back to bad stuff and got stuck. So we stopped. She said we will continue next week. 

sometimes I wanna talk about stuff. Just stuff from every day life. It takes me time to get comfy and to feel ok about opening up. But she’s already moved on. 

I had a bit of a rest when I got home. I’m just feeling so tired and lethargic lately. That’s hard to understand when my bloods are ok. 😩

Then I painted. I’m still tired. 

@Jynx seeing that you are around tonight. Missed ya! Hope you are ok??

[Snowie]

Wow @Bow a busy day, no wonder you are tired. It's good that you could see your SW in between appointments.

I know you don't want anything to go wrong whilst you are away. Fully understand this. Maybe not the refeeding syndrome bit but the wanting to be healthy both mentally and physically. Not wanting anything to come between ourselves and enjoying our holiday.

Hopefully the work you have done today with your supports helps

[Bow]

Hopefully @Snowie 

talked a bit at the end of my psych appointment about that frustrated feeling that I currently feel about feeling tired/lethargic/ and over things. It usually results in a quick downward spiral. It’s exhausting constantly feeling exhausted. Not having energy and everything being such a huge effort. Plus the need to still exercise. 
need to keep going. Push through it. To rest my body when I need to and that it’s ok to rest. It’s ok to have weeks like this and to not put the breaks on. And having a bad week is no reflection on me not trying. 

how was your day? Are you ready for sons birthday?

[Jynx]

Hiya @Bow Hiya @Snowie! 

Haha yep, been having a ramble for a bit but y'all were next on my lil check in list!! 

This is me checking notifications after just 2 days away 😅

I am ok ty for asking!! Well, had a rough one the other day, got sucker punched by my uterus. Love that journey for me! 🤣 Thankfully it has eased off a bit now and I have of course had my emergency chocolate and I ensured I was nought but a big blob all day! Watched so much Schitt's Creek lol. 

How's your respective Thursdays going? 

Also Bow you should totally let your therapist know that sometimes it could be nice/helpful to have more discussions about the day-to-day stuff! It's important too you know! And she won't know it's a topic you wanna talk about unless you say so! Easier said than done, I know. But you are the one who gets to choose what the focus is!

Aww yay Snowie it's son's bday today? What are you doing to celebrate?

[Snowie]

Sometimes I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to be 'well' @Bow. And this wellness is so different for each and every one of us and can constantly be changing too.

You are defiantly right, having a bad week/day is never a reflection on you not trying.

Exercising is ok, resting is ok, just being you is ok.

My day was mixed. Think I am ready for tomorrow.

[Snowie]

Hi @Jynx 

I hope your uterus is ok now. It sucks having one at times.

Son's b'day is tomorrow. Have about 7 of his friends over for dinner tomorrow night, with a few sleeping over. Will be a full house.